Beach Bootcamp BS

I firmly believe that if the moon is still out I shouldn’t be obligated to get out of bed…still there are those who awaken at the crack of dawn to exercise. Yes, 6:30am does exist, a fact I’m not too happy about. 
I will NOT be a participant to anything in which I have to remove my jewelry, usually of the diamond variety.  So don’t ask.
And yet, my standards will be tested with the Beach Bootcamp workout.
Yeah.  The word “boot” plus “camp” equals the same phrasing they use in the United States military by people who eventually get to use guns and missiles.  Clue #1 this is hardcore.
I’m supporting a friend who is destined, by the end of this, to be humiliated because I downright forgot that I don’t like rolling around on the ground…or sweating…or working out in general…really…don’t like.
Sand and I have had a feud that dates back several years.  I can’t even remember exactly when it started except for some foggy recollection of a ruined pedicure…things have just never been really friendly between sand and I.
I decide that since I’m there I’m going to give it a shot. 
Then I decide to just drink my Starbucks and watch the eye-candy.
Then I decide that the personal trainer of my dreams probably wants to make babies with me. 
Then I quickly change my mind as my would be baby-daddy starts calling people by their shirt colors, “Don’t stop now, green shirt.  You got yourself here; keep going! Go! Go! Go!”
At one point when he asks me why I’m not participating I envision myself sticking my tongue in his mouth to shut him up, but instead of making out with him, I answer as honestly as I know how, “because I’m already skinny.” 
We probably won’t be making any babies.
Dear, Los Angeles, I just love your trendy ways; but I’m going to stick to running my mouth to burn calories.
It’s a hot day at the beach. 
I want Yogurtland…and sleep.

This entry was posted in Comedy, Personal Experience and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Beach Bootcamp BS

  1. Gino says:

    Large enthusiast of the page, a lot of your blogposts have definitely helped me out. Looking forward to up-dates!

  2. Roseanne says:

    Large addict from this website, quite a few your posts have definitely helped me out. Looking towards posts!

  3. i love your blog, i have it in my rss reader and always like new things coming up from it.

  4. Great post. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m impressed! Extremely helpful information specially the last part 🙂 I care for such information much. I was looking for this certain info for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.

  5. free ipad 2 says:

    Do you have a Facebook page or Twitter? Would love to follow you there, I’m on my iPhone and love reading your stuff!

  6. Boyd Menard says:

    I never thought of it that way, well put!

  7. I just needed to say that I found your website via Goolge and I am glad I did. Keep up the good work and I will make sure to bookmark you for when I have more free time away from the books. I really have to say thanks!

  8. Dee Cichosz says:

    “We loved with a love that was more than love.” ~ Edgar Allan Poe

  9. This design is wicked! You most certainly know how to keep a reader entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Great job. I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

  10. MP3Panda says:

    I know this is really boring and you are skipping to the next comment, but I just wanted to throw you a big thanks – you cleared up some things for me!

  11. Tangie says:

    Stlaelr work there everyone. I’ll keep on reading.

  12. Sage Creson says:

    Hey there, You’ve done an incredible job. I will definitely digg it and individually recommend to my friends. I’m confident they’ll be benefited from this web site.

  13. Pingback: i like reading

  14. Wow Fantastic Blog!! I REALLY LOVE IT

  15. dkny ny4306 says:

    Outstanding blog post. Very entertaining and excellently written post. I will return soon.

  16. source says:

    Have you given any thought at all with translating your main web page into Spanish? I know a couple of translaters here that will might help you do it for free if you want to contact me personally.

  17. Bennie says:

    Thіs dеѕіgn іѕ wiсked!
    Үou defіnіtely know how to keеp a
    гeaԁer аmused. Вetωеen уοur
    wit anԁ your vidеos, I waѕ almost moved to stаrt my own blog (well, almоst.
    ..HaHa!) Grеat job. I гeаlly loved what you had to sау, and more than that, how you presentеd it.
    Too сool!

    my website :: Bennie

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *