Not only does sex keep us from being bored and pass lunch break time at work, it also has the horrific potential of making tiny human babies. As a woman, if we want to prevent future baby daddy drama we should be responsible for preventing pregnancy with birth control.
Here is a list of some top tens with a brief description of pros & cons.
*RING-A round bit of plastic, resembling a bracelet, is inserted into the vag & just chills out there while releasing hormones for three weeks.
PROS-It’s inside jewelry for your v-jay…that makes my privates happy.
CONS-Takes some getting used to and might slip out during sex, or have to be removed…hey, good excuse to stick a finger up there, right?
PILLS-Taking a pill every night.
PROS-Who doesn’t love a good prescription?…dead celebs excluded.
CONS-My mother died of breast cancer so it’s not worth it to have hormones coursing through my veins & also makes me a raging, lunatic bitch…like I need any help. Pshhhht.
DEPO SHOT-Umm, it’s a shot.
PROS-It’s a shot, you can get it and forget it.
CONS-It’s a shot, it hurts, but only for a second so stop being a wuss. Get over it, wuss.
Also, You might get fat. But it’s better than pregnancy fat…or is it, wuss?
IUD-A T-shaped piece of metal is inserted into your uterus and can be there for up to 10 years.
PROS-semi-permanent, easily reversible…you don’t have to think about it every day.
CONS-Can cause pelvic inflammatory disease. Ewwwww, swollen uterus…gross.
Personally I couldn’t get one because I have a tiny cervix. Sexy, huh?!
*CONDOMS- A piece of plastic that goes covers the penis.
PROS-Using one will get you laid by me. You can dazzle a dude with inventive ways to put it on.
CONS-Some people get allergies to latex. But personally, I’m allergic to STDs. If a guy bitches about it dulling the sensation let him know HIV is a shitty sensation too.
ABSTINANCE/MASTURBATION-You don’t f**k anybody unless you’re f**king yourself.
PROS-It’s fun to tease boys. You won’t get pregnant and can stay boring.
CONS-This doesn’t work if you’re slutty
*THE PATCH-A sticker that you place on an inconspicuous part of your body and remove it during your cycle week.
PROS-You’ll look like you’re quitting smoking with your patch and you only have to think about it once a month.
CONS-They’re ugly band-aid ugly. Since I’ve never used one I can only get they get that nasty ring of crud around them like an old band-aid too…??? Dunno.
STERILIZATION-A surgical procedure where they rearrange some female organs or remove them altogether.
PROS-you’re done breeding…for good.
CONS-you totally can’t fake a pregnancy to make the shot-gun wedding of your dreams happen.
PULLING OUT-Before he gets off in you get gets out from in you.
PROS-if you like things like the thrill of missed periods then this could be fun for you.
CONS-I made a baby this way.
If all else fails there is the vasectomy, the abortion, or adoption. All tend to be very bloody. So an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of unwanted pregnancy.
In case I left something out here is a serious, educational post. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control-4211.htm