Been There, Done That-Foster Care

Being a former foster parent and foster kid myself it was a privilege to give back by hosting an event for Extraordinary Families, benefiting foster youth, at The Beverly Hilton in California on April 20th.

My co-host was Renee Ridgeley and every 00’s teenage movie-star crush, Chris O’Donnell. I had the pleasure of participating with Extraordinary Families in the honoring Shane Brennan, executive producer of NCIS: LA with an award.

When you have little time in your life, as a single mom working three jobs, so you change in the car on your way to hosting an event…and you have a stain on your dress and Getty Images has your photo everywhere the next day!

A few days prior I was at the Both Ends Burning Global Symposium as a panelist speaking on foster care & family initiatives at the World Symposium for the organization Both Ends Burning. They are creating solutions for children around the globe. Thanks to Beth Ryan for the referral. Let’s do this Uganda, South Africa, El Salvador, Nepal, Philippines, Canada, Honduras, Ghana, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Cambodia, Brazil, Thailand, Ethiopia, Romania, Guatemala, Bolivia, Chile, Columbia, Kazakhstan, Albania, Armenia, Ukraine, Haiti & all of the delegates from the U.S. from DC to NYC to the State Department. Your commitment to our littles everywhere is an investment in our future.

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Yes, that’s me…I’m the “Native BuzzFeed Girl.” I have been an entertainer for sixteen years and have gone viral on multiple platforms, including YouTube and now BuzzFeed. The videos were seen over 18 million times.

It has been featured on the Canadian nightly news, the Huffington Post and NYLON, among other media outlets. It has also been included in college curricula all over the US and Canada. I have proven again and again that I have something valuable to offer the world of digital entertainment. Guys I who couldn’t be bothered to text back after a few dates tracked me down and wanted to know how I’ve been. Touching, guys, really. Nonetheless – as both a woman and a Native American, which makes me a minority within minorities – I constantly find myself and my community marginalized and dismissed. Natives are parodied in tasteless Halloween costumes, sports mascots, and Hollywood films – meanwhile, we face some of the highest rates in the country of incarceration, unemployment, alcoholism, homelessness, poverty, sexual assault and (it should come as no surprise, considering all of the above) suicide. But statistically, we are the single most under-represented group in the media. We are invisible, and feel very deeply the continual erasure of our image. I’m tired of this & working to change this one video at a time.
In the meantime, enjoy my crew & I in a video about mascots and another about festival fashion. Much love to Jenny Marlowe, Shane Whitaker, Jim Ruel & our fearless producer, Chris Lam.

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Pink October-A Breast Cancer Blog

October is my favorite time of year when the multi-colored leaves dance from the trees and crunch underfoot. Guys, I have a frikken Halloween tree, okay? I’m one of those people who dress up as many times as I can … Continue reading

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I was told the most responsible thing I can do for my family is have a Last Will and Testament. Really? Just staying alive isn’t enough? Well, I’m busy doing things like breathing right now, but I had a moment to write down a few directives.

Look death square in the eye and say, "I'm busy right now; maybe later..."

Look death square in the eye and say, “I’m busy right now; maybe later…”

I will start out with a formal greeting from beyond: “Hey, everybody…well, shit…I died. So here is some paperwork so I can boss you around from the grave.”
And then, because there’s tears involved, everyone has to do exactly what I say. And they will too because if The Walking Dead has taught us nothing it’s that you don’t fuck with dead people .
1. Cremate me. And, at my funeral, pass me out in cute, little party favor bags for attendees to dump in random, kick-ass places. This works because I really like to travel. It’s brilliant because then they can go to the remembrance place of their choice when they wanna have a ghost-talk with me and I can laugh to their face for chatting with thin air. Disclaimer: this is only in the event Johnny Depp will not allow me to be buried with him, side-by-side, in his casket, for all of eternity. If Johnny wants to pretend that what we have isn’t real then please do just light me on fire.
2. My obituary should be honest and factual. I have lots of sisters & a child whom I love deeply, that should be in there…along with the phrase “Sheila rarely wore panties.”
3. If, at any point before my demise, I am ever considered brain-dead please pull the plug but, since you are now in charge of my exact expiration date make it a good one…people will always remember me on that day so choose a day when people will only remember for a short time because they’re getting blackout drunk like on St. Patrick’s Day, the Fourth of July, and Mother’s Day.
4. At my wake there will be a gameshow to get rid of my crap. You know what they say, “You can’t take it with you, so award it to your family in fabulous cash & prizes.”
5. We’ll revisit number 5 when weed is absolutely legal.
And then I end with a poignant truth: “I loved most of you.”
Sheila Chalakee

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10 WTF Science Questions Answered

Answers to the “10 Most Important Questions in Science” as dictated by NPR. 1. What is the universe made of? Stuff. Mostly physical-stuff like elements and protons. And then there is God-stuff which is energy and things like money and … Continue reading

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Job Hunt Employment Tips


Here is some advice from a comic on how I found my dream job.

List all jobs in chronological order.
Gaps in employment from that time you got knocked up are technically ‘sitter’ jobs and hopefully your kid gives you a good reference.
Be enthusiastic and descriptive about your skills. For example I let them know “I can photoshop the shit out of anything.”
Let them know how professional you are as long as things are going your way and you are getting everything you want.

Highlight your strengths. I like to share that I’ve only ever slept with just ONE of my bosses and it was hardly ever in the office.
I never use my looks to get what I want, my looks just do that on their own.
I think people work best in a friendly environment. Underwear makes me cranky so I never wear any.
I let them know I’m tenacious ESPECIALLY staying with really stupid jobs.

Congrats on your new job!

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Birth Control Top TEN!

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Not only does sex keep us from being bored and pass lunch break time at work, it also has the horrific potential of making tiny human babies. As a woman, if we want to prevent future baby daddy drama we … Continue reading

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7 Supermodel Tips for Life

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They steal all of our eligible musicians, celebrities, and athletes. What do these glamazon babes know that we don’t? Seven things…pay attention so we can give them a run for their money. How do I know these things?  I used … Continue reading

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Advice on Religion…from a Comic

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It’s not blasphemy; it’s Comedy! Whether you’re Christian, Jewish, Muslim or Stupid you should know that having beers with Jesus figures stuff out. And the one thing all spiritual paths agree on is the awesomeness of The Thong Song. I’m … Continue reading

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Financial Advice…from a Comic

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Since I’m an Expert Money Spender and a comedian I should obviously give you advice on your finances. Duh. I also used to own a debt collection agency at one time (true story).  But now as a comic I no … Continue reading

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